Sunday, June 28, 2009

Brilliant Conclusion

I was in the car, passing by a forest that was on the side of the road. I looked at the mass of trees, just confusing themselves with each other, all looking the same, all in the same position. Then, suddenly, something different caught my eye in that sea of copies. An old oak tree was standing in the middle of all the others. Just standing there, small and dry, because the other trees were higher, making it hard for the little oak tree to get some water when a heavy cloud passed by. The oak was alone, abandoned in a sea of equal trees. Some of those trees seemed to bend towards the oak, and when the wind blew, they slapped the oak with their branches, over and over again. Looking back at that image, I saw my life in the past few years. Some would say that this is a depressing thing to think of. I can't afford to think that way. Because if I already live like that, if I thought like that, I would surely go insane with the pain. So I see that image as a reminder. A reminder that, while they might be hitting me with their branches, they are all the same. They are copies, useless copies made by a society of mass production of high quality bullshit. They have all these fucked up beliefs, and anyone different must die. They all say they are the best. At what? Ass-kissing? Being fucked up jerks? Fuck yeah, you're good at that. But me... No, I have to be an outcast, just because I can reason properly. People say that in a world full of blind people, the one with one working eye is king. Well, where's our crown? Where is the crown for us, people with a fucking working brain? Oh yeah, that's right, you have it. Because, apparently, being dumb and equal is the way to go these days. Well, I'm sorry, but I was born with personality, and I intend to keep it above your mindless fashions and trends. How can the mindless idiots rule over us? Why are they like this? Who gave them the power? Why them?

Meanwhile, my best friend was watching me, feeling the change in my eyes.
"What's wrong?" she asked, out of curiosity.
"Nothing... It's just..." I started.
"What?" she replied, impatient as always.
I took a deep breath, and looked ahead at the dark road we were passing by, that ended in a pitch black tunnel. Then I said:

"This life just scares me to death."

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Not Like the Rest

I can't take this anymore
You've crossed the line.
But I kept coming back for more,
Like you hurting me was fine.

But it isn't!
And will never be!
This vicious circle will continue
Until you see...

That I'm not like the rest.
How long will it take for you to see?
That i'll love you until
My last breath comes out of me.

I'm not the best.
I'm not cool.
All I am is myself:
A loving fool.

You're the missing piece
In this puzzle called "my life".
My heart can't keep dancing for you
on the tip of the knife.

No more hiding what I'm feeling,
I'll scream to the world that I'm right here!
I'll take the biggest risk in my life.
There is no more time to fear.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Derradeira Despedida

Não. Não vás. Não me abandones neste desespero. Tu és o meu único amparo. Foste tu que me fizeste viver até agora. Tu deste-me forças quando eu não as tinha. Apaziguaste a dor no meu peito. Não vires costas agora. Dá-me mais uma hipótese. Porque tu? Porque hoje?

E porquê agora? Porque não antes? Esperavas mesmo que acontecesse alguma coisa? Foi por isso que vieste? Para dizeres “Fizemos o que pudemos, mas já não vale a pena”? Eu não vejo as coisas da tua maneira. Quem diz que já acabou? Temos de tentar, temos de insistir, temos de fazer tudo, o possível e o impossível, e se não conseguirmos á primeira, tentamos outra vez, e outra, e outra…

Mas já não vale a pena. Tens razão. Insistir para quê? Só me vou magoar ainda mais. Às vezes penso que sou de borracha, e que tudo o que é dor simplesmente bate contra mim e salta para longe. Mas não. Tens razão, sou de barro. Ao início resisto, mas uma pancada mais forte, um abalo mais doloroso, uma dor mais aguda, e fico em pedaços no chão. E depois tu vinhas colar cada pedacinho outra vez, mas depois, eles voltavam a partir. Fartaste-te de trabalhar em vão. Como eu te entendo. Mas eu quero tentar, quero continuar, mesmo que o meu futuro já esteja definido na dor. Como eu queria voltar aos velhos tempos, em que quando me aleijava, os meus pais me davam carinho e me tratavam da ferida. Porque não podemos voltar a ser crianças? A dor diminuía, mas o sentimento não.

Então vai, e faz boa viagem. Agora vejo como abusei de ti. Aqui fico, com a validade de apenas mais uma grande dor. Expirada a minha validade, este corpo ficará oco, sem vida, uma carcaça de pele, músculos, sangue e dor.

Adeus, esperança de te ter um dia, minha princesa.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Puppet Master

I’d say that I miss you,

But that wouldn’t be enough.

Why is it like this with you?

Why is it so though?

Here I sit, waiting,

For an answer from my heart:

Should I continue to run this race

That I’ve lost from the start?

Like a drug,

You plant your essence in my head.

I do everything you want, but then

You don’t care about the tears I shed.

You’re a puppet master

And I’m a puppet in your hand.

You play with your fingers and know

That your wish is my command

Some call it madness

Others say it’s lame

I call it devotion and love,

Because that’s the name of the game.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

An Unsung Hero

Deep inside these dark buildings

Voices die to be heard

They tell the tales of unsung heroes

Stories that we’ve never learned.

The green fields that covered my heart

Where pain couldn’t reach my head

Disappeared under the black rain

Hurting worst than metal and lead

That color that once made me happy

Now makes me suffer and pain

Those eyes that used to heal my scars

Now make me go insane

The true heroes don’t have glory

They have pain and tears

These were the ones that gave you all

But now you want them to disappear

You captivate our weakened souls

And force our minds to move

If these walls could speak, I’d beg

That they would tell me what to do

Heroes aren’t the ones with powers

They’re the ones that endure pain

I’m done with you torturing me

So I’ll free myself of this chain

Based on "Drones" by Rise Against